Poleaxed!

Gosh didnt realise its been a month since my last post. Deosnt time fly when you're charging around hospitals and being exhausted! I finished being cooked 3 weeks ago and suffered a very swollen,sore boob.I looked like half a Jordan!! Ones nipple was excrutiatingly sensitive and sore. I was in the bath one daya when DD came in. She took one look at it all and said 'good god! Thats not normal!!' quite! then I got the sore chapped itchy skin as you get a kind of sunburn. I'm mostly recovered now apart from the 'itchytittyitis'!! as its known. But I'm now suffering from the fatigue which I was warned that I would get. As I didnt exactly start with a full battery I'm totally floored. I've been in bed alot and am really frustrated. Its made worse because my Mum is having chemo again and is ill.I really need to be able to look after her as my dad,bless him, is useless. he has Altzheimers and needs more and more care. he's not ga,ga, but he needs prompting as to has he taken his meds, geting a shower and he needs feeding.
actually its surprising that I can still laugh and smile with all the stress around me.
Luckily for me at least they cancelled Mums chemo this week as she's too ill to have it.This means I can go with the flow of the wipe out exhaustion and not worry too much. gawd I wish my sister lived here instead of Canada then she'd be able to help.

Knitting
yes its coming along slowly. I have actually finnished something !! ta,da!!! I've finished my february ladies sweater. I will photograph it at some point. I'm working slowly on some Peppermint Twist socks. I get very bored with them very easily. Dunno why.I think its the exhaustion Tbh. My brain isnt working properly its too fugged.

anyway nuff moaning

On Books and Radiotherapy

But not both together! I read about 50 books last year which is much higher than the year before. I didnt keep a record towards the end. Cant think what was distracting me!
My favourite books were definitely Henning Mankells Wallander series. They were dark aswell as telling a good detective story. I got into wallander by watching the Swedish series on BBC 4 I loved following the subtitiles whilst listening to the Swedish language as you can pick up English sounding words and find the root to alot of our own language in there. of course scandanavian/norse language came over with the Vikings so it makes sense. Then I started reading the books and got wholey hooked on them. The character of Wallander is depresive and an ordinary bloke/anti-hero really. I then watched the Kenneth Brannagh version. They're more brooding than the Swedish version and what annoys me is that the English version has tried to get the Swedish pronunciations correct for names of places and people yet they continue to mis pronounce Wallander which is actually pronounced Vallander. Just a small mater but it irks me!

Anyway back to books. I also love medieval history and was thoroughly engrosed in Sussanah gregory's mathew bartholomew tales of murder in medieval Cambridge. A month ago I discovered Bernard Knights Crowner John series about the life of one of the first coroners appointed by Richard the Lionheart in 1393. The character is fictional but his peirs and surroundings are real.

And now onto Radiotherapy. The therapy itself is fine. its litterally 2 blasts of about 20seconds from the machine. But as I go by ambulance to Christies I have to be ready 2 hours before hand and can wait up to 2 hours to be brought home. The waiting around is long and very tiring. its also awkward as I go in my wheelchair. Well sometimes I have the energy to push myslef to the loo or coffee bar,other times I cant. Mr Cinders is working and cant accompany me and I hate having to ask to be wheeled to the loo at my age. Still I'm very grateful to the ambulance service therwise it'd be a £60 round journey in a taxi every day!
£ sessions down-12 to go. This week is going to be hard as its 5 consecutive days. I tired after 3 days now so heaven help me!!
I'm also very grateful to have a wonderful cancer centre like Chrisites on my doorstep. its so busy there. You see some heartbreaking sites Like I saw a young woman wearing a wig, with her chemo drips attatched saying goodbye to 3 small boys and a husband one day. I also saw a teenager in a wheelchair. I just think thank God mine was caught so early and the radiothrapy is really just an extra insurance policy so the cancer has less chance of returning.

KNITTING
Yes I'm still doing it slowly. I've finished Knitting the February Ladies jacket . it needs the hems sewing over and buttons going on it. I'm trying to finish a V nck I started 2 years ago now and I have a peppermint lozenge sock on the go for my hospital visits. I should photograph them really but ...

Business is O.K I am not re-stocking the shop as I havnt the energy to dye any more yarn at the mo but I'm taking orders from existing stock and I've had a few orders on which is nice.

CARPE DEUM

Crickey I havnt blogged for ages. Mind you I think September/Oct and November were kind of taken up a bit. I think possibly learning that I had breast cancer then having the op and recuperating might have sidetracked me from the blogosphere for a few months!!!

So lets take a look back at 2009.
The Positives-
1-Josh's Barmitzvah-a fab time was had by all.
2-A short holiday in Norfolk. A place I've always wanted to visit. beautiful but a little too flat!! I like my hills.
3- a couple of days away whils rachel had her intevieew at Cambridge Uni. A great break for Mr Cinders and myself. a beautiful town. I'd like to see more. lets hope Rach is offered a place.
4- The wonderful, continuing love and support I get from Mr Cinders.

5-Of course my kids have mostly been positive!!!

6 My Yarn business has been small but steady

The negatives
1-the continuing struggle wih fibromyalgia, pain, exhaution and disability. Even now 6 years later its often very hard to swallow.
2- Being diagnosed with Breast cancer 2 days before my birthday!! Thankfully it was caught very early and has been totally removed.
3- My Mums continuing battle with cancer and her getting more weak and frail.

actually there are less negatives than I thought!!!

And so onto 2010. My new motto after having had a brush with cancer and having had an operation and awaiting radiotherapy which starts tommorrow,5th Janis seize the day!, It gave me a jolt. I realised that I was stuck a bit in the mire of Fibro and disability. I've decided that I'm going to make the most of every day. Although today my body demands a rest before the onslaught of the next 3 weeks.

AWSOME!!!!

I'm still on a high from seeing U2 live on aug 20th at Don Valley, Sheffield. It was such an amzing concert. The support act Elbow-from my home town, were Good, But of course no one can supace U2 when it comes to live performances. The stage set 'The Claw' was an awsome sight (I sound like my teens with this awsome business!!). They opened the set with Breathe, not my favourite song but o.k Then they did a few from NLOTH and went into their old stuff. Everysong except MLK were songs I like and some I love. Hearing 'the Unforgetable Fire' live was amazing.

We had a fiasco with the disabled seating-so are you ready for a moan? My tickets had seat numbers on them, so Rachel and I didnt rush to the stadium as sitting in my wheelchair kills my back after a while. We got there at 7pm. The disabled section was just a concrete platform surrounded by rails which was full to bursting with wheelchairs and people in folding chairs!!! We couldnt get in the section we were supposed to be in and got wheeled round to another section which was also full! I was fuming. I'd presumed that we had fixed seats, not a free for all first come first serve. Also what they'd done was allow the disabled person as many other able bodied people as they wanted so the disabled section was full of say one wheelchair then 12 ordinary people on folding chairs. It was ridiculous. Luckily a kind steward moved us to behing the top of the seating area. I had a great view of the stage until U2 came on ofcourse and everybody stood up!!! luckily as I'm not wheelchair bound I could stand up and see for a while and when I sat down I could jig around and peer through peoples legs and still see. I've written to complain as it was so disorganised and the stewards were wheeling wheelchirs all over the place trying to find gaps to plonk poor diasabled people in. I'm sure many more didnt see the concert either.

Still it didnt detract frfm my joy and utter delight at seeing U2 live. We also had a fiasco with getting away from the venue, but I've repeated this tale so many times to people and typed it all in my complaint letter that I cant be bothered re-iterating it here!!

So Much to Say!

I've got so much to say and I'm too tired and in too much pain to do it all now so you'll have ot bear with me over the next few weeks as I type myself up to date. Firstly we have the Awsome, amazing U2 concert, then we had a few days holidays.
So I'll get round to describing them as and when. Going to concerts and then going on holiday dont mix well with FM!!
c u all soon

Fibreholics UK

I am a member of Fibreholics U.K- we send out sample boxes of fibe and yarns via ravelry. These are my contributions for the september box;
peach -Flakland Fibre, black,lime and turquiose- BFL Fibre, BFL sock Yarn in Summer berries and merino/tencwel yarn in Hope colourway

Musing on Books and Brain Fog!-and litterary snobbery

My reading this year has been rather interesting and reflective of the state of my mind and concentration. recently I surprised myself by enjoying Dan Brown books! I avoided them like the plague when The DaVinci Code came out as I dont like thrillers. I scoffed at the thought of reading such books as beneath my intellect. But Fibromyalgia is a strange beast. It affects your concentration and ability to take anything in. Commonly known as Brain Fog. I think I'm having a peasouper at the mo!! Rachel is studying English Lit at A level and wants to do it as a degree, hopefully at Cambrigde- I really hope she gets in-but thats another story!
back to books. Rachels school reading has been wide and varied. I own most of the books she has to read. We've been discussing classics as I love classical books. I have quite a collection. Recently I tried to read The Pickwick Papers by Charles Dickens. I couldnt make sense of it! My brain is so foggy I cant decipher and process the language! oh Boy!! We both want to read more DH Lawrence. I really enjoyed him when younger. Rachel has started on Lady Chatterly and I fancied Women In Love. But at present my dim brain is on stike!!
Back to Dan Brown. The Film of the Da Vinci Code was on TV recently. I like Tom Hanks and esp as in this film his hair is like Bono'S During the Vertigo era!! so I decided to watch it and see what all the fuss and hype had been about. I enjoyed the film although I guessed the who the baddie was straight away!! So I decided to read the book out of curiosity and enjoyed it. It has intelligent facts in and I like history. I then moved onto ANgels and Demons which I thought was a bit lame, but I enjoyed Deception Point. Although, again, I guessed who was behind it all at the very beginning. Its easy, pick out the goodie boss. Its always the one you'd least susspect!!

Anyway I've picked 4 books up in WH Smiths at the weekend which are more intelligent i Hope!!! at least my brain isnt so foggy I'm reduced to reading Womans Own which has happened in the past!!

Been AWOL!!-plus Etsy sale!!!

Where did the time go? Actually I havnt blogged because the pain in my neck and shoulders has been so bad that by the time I've read my e-mails and sorted out my business I've been in too much pain for the peripheral things.

So what has been happening in Cinders Land?

Mr Cinders Turns 50
Yep hubby reached his half century on 7th July. He wanted a party which was a bit like 'This Is your Life' with freinds old and new dreged up from all over the place!! in the end about 40 people turned up. Mr Cinders bought a cheap Gazebo and as it was dry and warm lots of people spilled out onto the garden so we wernt squashed. Mr Cinders did all the catering himself. he made curried meatballs, chinese chicken, veg chilli with rice, salad and baguettes. I farmed the desserts out to kind friends who'd offered. My contribution was setting the table, blowing balloons up and putting the nibles out!!! We had a great time. I bought him a fabulous cake. I must get the photos off him. The cake was a camera with a model mr cinders sat on top.

On his actuall birthday I made him his favourite meal. Pickled brisket and chips!! I'd had the peice of brisket in the fridge pickling away for 2 weeks, then I cooked it on The day of his birthday. I'm very pleased with myself as I've not pickled a brisket for years. the secret is that M-I-L manages somehow to get hold of saltpetre which gives it that red colour. I can never get hold of saltpetre as is an explosive and the chemist wont give it to me any more!

Knitting Front

I'm still making the bamboo cardi. I've finished the back, 1 front and have nearly finished a sleeve. I cant sit for too long at the mo so knitting is very slow.

Spinning is virtually non existent. legs too bad. boo, hoo

Etsy SAle

I've been trading just over 1 year so I'm having a sale on at my Etsy store. pop in for a 10% discount on everything and grab a bargain I'm just re-skeining some Organic MERINO Aran, so look out for it appearing in my shop soon.

I'd like to thank everyone who's bought off me in the last year and esp those of you who have returned to buy more. I feel very flattered that you like my yarns.

FM

Oh boy!! same as usual I'm afraid. days of extreme energy followed by total knackeredness. The lack of energy is driving me mad again. But I did manage 5 hours on Manchester a few weeks ago shopping with Rachel.!! I must be mad!! I ent to the Trafford Centre with Hubby yesterday and we had a bite of lunch out which was very nice. Other than that its the same old struggle and frstration. E.G. the week of Mr Cinders Birthday. I had to get my neighbour to take me to choose the cake as the shop is about 4 miles away. then my S-I_L picked it up. I get so frustrated having to rely on people to take me errands. If I could only drive again . But theres little chance of that. ah well.

At least My condition, whilst irritating isnt a fatal one. My MUms just commencing her 5th lot of chemo on as many years so if you're religoius please say a prayer for her. Its puts my pains into perspective really.

And on a lighter note my tickets for U2 finally arrived. I am sooo excited I cant wait. But I have a few weeks of school holiday to contend with first. hey ho!!!

Monkey Socks

KNITTING
Finally! I have some knitting to show. I'm very pleased with myself that I've been able to produce alot more knitting lately than I have for ages.

First off 1 Monkey sock! its knitted in Opal sock yarn and I love the pattern. Its so easy and looks great!! Finally a pattern I can knit without cocking it all up!!!

secondly a new jacket I'm knitting in Sirdar bamboo. now I know I said I'd never touch Sirdar again because all the yarns I've used I've hated , but this was on sale at Kemps wool for 89p per ball!! scrol down the page! I really like this yarn. Its a tape and knits like cotton, but unlike cotton it doesnt split.

I cant move the photos on here, its very strange. just the codes are showing not the actual piccies. mad Blogger!!

I havnt done any spinning as my neck and shoulders and back are too bad.


FM
on the FM front. I loved the 4 burning hot days we had. I felt so well! But the pain moved to my neck ,shoulders and lpwer back. its been really painful. I've had the TENS machine out, the wheat packs, heated blanket..you name it. The pain has been keeping me awake at night too which annoys Mr Cinders as I toss and turn and get up and down.

Some Nice Trips out

On the Friday of the heatwave, Mr Cinders had business in Hull. I have a friend up in Hull, Chezza, who I met through Stitchlinks So whilst Mr Cinders did his business I went for a visit and a natter. She lives in a one street village next to the Humber. Its lovely. We had a brew and a natter, the Mr Cinders joined us and we went for a pub lunch. Later we sat on the banks of the Humber watching the tugs going up and down, chatting. It was great to catch up with Chezza and a lovely day out.

I was exhausted the day after so I lay in the sun... Bliss! Monday Rachel took me swimming, Tuesday was hospital appts, but Wednesday I usaually go for a massage and my neighbour takes me. She wasnt around so I decided to take myself. I got on my scooter and whizzed up to the metro into Bury. Then I got a taxi up to the centre. I was very pleased with my independence. After my wonderful massage I got a taxi back Into Bury town centre and did a bit of shopping, then got the metro home. I was out for 5 hours and felt tired but good.

Thurday it rained and I felt knackered and damp again.
The weather definitely affects my FM. I need to emigrate to California or somewhere where its always hot!!!

I will post some photos of Josh's barmitzvah when I can, but for some reason my computer will not recognise hubby's web site !! so I'll have to pich his 'pooter and upload some

Books- I've just finished reading James Clavells epic Shogun. I remeber seeing my dad and friends dads reading it in the 80's. I loved this book. it was so realisitc. very gory but full of duplicity, romance, mad Samuri with death wishes!! All details of Japanese life and culture was there in detail and made fascinating reading

Finally!! some finished Knitting!!!

YAY!!! I can finally, nearly 6 months into the year show off some knitting!!
I knitted the Veronique shawl from French Girl Knits, finished Normski's socks and finished my Ivy cardi from Knitty!!!
here they are.
I cant seem to access the photos. my blogger has gone bonkers!!! Rachel is moddeling the Veronigue as I look to fat. I reasoned I didnt look too bad in the Ivy!!!

I cant do any spinning at the mo as My legs are too bad-booh--, but I'm managing to dye some stuff in between being ehxausted!!!

PLEASE SUPPORT RACHEL IN THE RACE FOR LIFE BY BUYING MY SPECIAL SOCK YARN
I have dyed a beautiful merino/tencel sock yarn in the colours of breast cancer and ovarian cancer and am asking £2 above the normal price. this will all go with rachels sponsor money to cancer research U.K the yarn is called Hope. please support us in this very worthy cause.

FM
On the FM front life is tough, but I'm cheerful. I managed to go into Manchester last Saturday with Mr Cinders to do some shopping and we went out for lunch which was v nice. I've been trawling the internet for a holiday and spent so much time on it I'm having yet another flare. I had to be in bed Tuesday and some of yesterday which is very frustrating, but thats life Jim!!- but we've managed to book a 4 day break at the end of August on a camp site in great Yarmouth. we'e in a chalet not a tent!!! Josh is coming with us which is why we've plumped for this type of holiday. If it was just me and Mr Cinders we'd go somewhere quieter. But if I'm resting in an afternoon or having a bad day there needs to be some facilities to keep a teenage boy happy, so at least on a camp site theres load to do. I'm really looking forward to it as I want to see Norfolk, particularly the Broads and North coast which I beleive are beautiful and I love the seaside anyway. we havnt had a holiday for 2 years so this is exciting

This Sunday M-I-L is 80 so we're having afternoon tea chez nous for the immediate family. Sam is coming home which is good.

Rachel is in the middle of her 'A.S' levels at present and stressed and we all know about it!! My cleaner is ill today so RAch is in her element cleaning and re-organisng my untidy drawers

I had them all in tears!!!

Havnt blogged for a few weeks as last weekend was Josh's barmitzvah and the run up was a bit hectic. The whole weekend has been amazing!
josh read his portion from the Torah. it was a long one this week. he did fantastically I was so proud. His dad, grandpa and close relatives all made blessings before the Torah readings so the whole, male , family got involved. Its so wonderful to see these events. Mr Cinders Dad made it to the Synagogue so we were delighted as he's nearly 86 and very frail and it was touch and go all week as to whether he's make it or not. after all her chemo my Mum looked fantastic so all round it was a weekend of delight.
After the service we had a small buffet of cakes, crisps, fishballs etc. This is called a Kiddush and we have a small version every week after a service, but ours was the Rolls Royce version!!
Then the immediate family came back to our house for lunch. by 4pm I was bog eyed so I fell into bed and slept and stayed in bed for the whole of the rest of the day!
Sunday started early with us having our hair done, then we held afternoon tea in the adjoining Synagogue hall for 80 family and friends.
it was wonderful. Our colour scheme was bright royal blue and metalic silver, as chosen by Josh. So the invites were in those colours, the hall was decked out in those coloured balloons and the men- Mr Cinders, Sam and Josh all had on variations of blue and silver shirts and ties.

We had tons to eat, sandwhiches, finger sized buns, saoury struddle and mimi quiches followed y yummy deserts.
norman, myself, and the kids all gave speeches. The kids were very funny. sam is a natural infront of a microphone. he should be with the Footlights!!
Josh had wanted me to make a speech. I think he thought I was going to say how cheeky he was etc. But I didnt,
This is my speech verbatim . It had people sniffing into their hankies!!

Rabbis, Family and friends,

When Josh asked me to make a speech at his barmitzvah. I don’t think he thought I’d be saying the following. I hope you all don’t think that what I’m going to say is inappropriate for today.

As you all know the last 5 years in the Fryman household have not been easy, to say the least since I developed Fibromyalgia. Whilst it has been hard enough for me personally to cope with going from being a perfectly normally functioning human being , taking for granted the things we do daily, the boring stuff, washing, cleaning, shopping etc, to driving, and the fun stuff, taking the kids out , having family days out etc, to becoming semi-disabled ,and being in pain and exhausted 24/7, it has had a knock on affect on my direct family and those close to me. It is with this in mind that I wanted to say a few thank-yous.

Firstly thank you to all my wider family friends and neighbours ,which includes everyone sat here today, for phoning and enquiring about me. So many of you have helped and supported me, Thanks to my neighbour ann who regularly takes me out and has even pushed me in my wheelchair, which believe you me, since I’m no longer sylph like, is no mean feet!!

To my life long friends Mandy and Karen. Firstly thank you for today’s speech. I’m so glad you left out all my misdemeanours over the last 30 odd years!! Thank-you for phoning me weekly, , for allowing me to moan and cry, for the laughter and lunches. You truly are the greatest friends.

And now on to my family. My in-laws- Leila you make the best chopped and boiled fish this side of Manchester. Thank you for your support and for keeping us supplied with heimishe foods, picklemeat, chopped herring etc!!

My parents, Mum and dad, you have always been there to help and support me. Dad, when I was a small girl and subsequent teenager, you were my taxi service ferrying me and my friends here there and everywhere. When I grew up and started driving you were redundant for a few years. Then along came the grandchildren and you became gramps taxi. Now they have grown up and don’t need your services so much you thought you could have a breather. Oh No! I stopped driving 2 years ago and you became Dads taxi yet again! Long may you continue to be able to ferry me around!!
Mum, you have struggled with your illness and punishing treatments with an amazing inner strength, fortitude and courage. You’re an inspiration to all of us. It hurts me that I cannot physically help you as I’d like to do and I know equally, you feel the same about me, But we talk every day on the phone when we cant visit each other and support each other in this way. I wish you only good health and happiness in the future and thank you for being there for me always.

My children, Sam, I am so very proud of all that you have achieved in life so far. You’ve grown up into a handsome, intelligent young man I love your acerbic, sharp intellectual humour. You remind me of Steven Fry in that respect. You’ve always helped me at home even during studying for you g.c.s.e’s and A levels, you would always drop what you were doing and take on your role as heavy pan lifter, carrier of washing up and down stairs ,opener of difficult jars and bottles and repairer of my computer. Now you are at uni I miss your help and witticisms. Thank you for being a wonderful son and I wish you every success in your future. BTW when we get home can you have a look at my computer please? !!

Rachel, my wonderful daughter. You have grown into a beautiful, intelligent, kind and thoughtful human being. You’re the best daughter a mother could wish for. your incessant chatter makes me so happy. I love the house being full of all your friends and listening to your laughter. I love our trips out together. You have always seemed so mature and level headed and have approached the changes in the household in a very practical way. You’re a fantastic cook and luckily for me you’re on a health kick so we get some gorgeous, healthy meals at home. You’re not only my daughter but my friend .I count myself a lucky mum as not every one can say that. Thank you so much for all you help and support

And now the Barmitzvah boy, Josh!! I’m so very proud of you this weekend. As dad said, you read your maftir and haphtarah beautifully.
Dad has said much about your gorgeous looks and cheeky ways so I wont dwell on those. You can make me laugh so easily with your antics and chatter. We’ve always been very close, you and I. you were very young when I became ill and I know you found it very difficult and bewildering as the fibro is invisible. I look fine. There was no bandage or plaster cast for you to see and you couldn’t understand why a few months ago Mum was fine and now she was finding it hard to do stuff. Believe you me Josh, it was equally as hard on me having to say no I couldn’t come out and play football, I couldn’t take you to the park or the cinema etc. We’re still training you in the helping around the house department…The’ but I’m a teenager, I don’t set tables or empty dishwashers’ routine doesn’t wash any more!! But you’re getting more and more helpful as you grow up and mature. You are the best cup of tea maker. I love it when you bring me bedtime drinks and get in bed and cuddle up to me. I’ve always enjoyed my loves and cuddles and I hope you are never to old to come and hug your Mum.

And last but not least my wonderful husband of 21 1/2 years..Norman. You’ve always been there besides me no matter what I’ve thrown at you. These last 5 years have been incredibly difficult for you and you’re truly amazing. Not only have you had to cope with running a business single handed, but also taking over many household tasks and the child care as I’ve become less able to do these things. the shopping , a lot of housework, a lot of the cooking until Rachel stepped in to help and since I stopped driving, ferrying the children here there and everywhere. You’ve also had to become my carer and help me with tasks as though I was a 90 year old woman. Last year you wore yourself ragged trying to decorate and garden as well as everything else and could often on a Sunday be seen scurrying around the house with a paint brush in one hand, a lawn mower in the other and a sweeping brush up… oh , er,.. in your mouth!!!!

Norman not only are you the best husband a woman could wish for husband, and a wonderful father, you are also my best friend and soul mate.. I Love you xxxxxx

100 Plus Sales!!!

100 plus sales!
Ta, DA!!!! I'm so happy. I passed the 100 mark for sales from my Etsy store. I cant beleive 100 people have my yarn and most seem to like it! some times I have to shake myself when I think that it was am idea I had 10 months ago and I just plunged in. The last 10 months have been a steep learning curve in terms if what people like and in running a little business.

I want to say a Huge Thank you to all of you whove supported my shop in the last 10 months. and long may you continue to do so!!!

KNITTING
You know I am such a slow knitter that I have not even finished anything since the start of 2009!! Well I did finish that hat for the Mirasol project when somebody ruined it, but I have nearly finished my shrug. I need it for my firends sons Barmitzvah this weekend so I'd best hurry up.

FM and life in General
Well My upward swing continues and I'm getting back to 'normal'. its Passover which is a time that I hate but SAm has changed all the kitchen pots for me and done alot of cleaning and Rachel did tons of baking and cooking. We had 2 Seder nights which I managed to stay up for. I was pretty exhausted on Friday but rested. Saturday I went with Hubby into Manchester to change a DVD. U2 dvd's were on offer at HMV so I bought 2 that I didnt have. I couldnt beleive that I duplicated one!! My brain! so yeaterday I went back and exchanged it for the one I should've bought in the first place!
LAst night Rachel and I went to see Marley and Me. I've read the book so I thought the film was o.k. Light and frothy, but it didnt capture the essence of how naughty Marley really was or his more tender moments. still a good bonding night with daughter and the first time since January that I've gone out in an afternoon AND Out the same evenign . Usually I end up in bed after goign shopping for the rest of the night so good on me!
its Easter weekend and its beautiful outside. A dull dreary weekend was predicted, but its been warm and sunny and we've been sat out in the garden. I've been dyeing some Merino/silk lace again in between and we've enjoyed ourselves apart from neighbours screeming kids. I do try and be tollerant. Mine screemed and carried on too when they were younger as they played, but I've gone passed all that now and just want to sit out in the peace and quiet of the garden! Plus my i-pod has dyed so I could drown out the noise. still...

Its 2 weeks till the big day now and theres stuff to do, a table plan to be made and last minute things to sort out. Josh is 13 tommorrow \he's starting to shoot up and getting gangly and his nose is grwoing. teenage boys noses grow before the rest of them. Poor boy is going to have a hooter like mine- huge!!

I'm feeling Happy!!!

Yes it makes a nice change!!!But I feel good despite the old body!
I've had a reasonably good week. Monday we had free tickets to go to the Apollo theatre in manchester to see Michael Mcyntires comedy roadshow. an new programme being made for the BBc. I was in my wheelchair. Now normally josh hates to be seen out with me in my wheelchair. but this night I was his best friend! Why? because we were seated at the front with the 'celebs'! they'd asked people from Corrie St and Waterloo Road. Noddy Holder was in the audience and the Man from the post office ads. I cant think of his name. he was really nice to us. At the interval I was sat right next to the Hospitality suite so I got crowded out by these kids form Waterloo Road who obviously think they're 'it' now they're on tv. He made a space and helped Norman turn my wheelchair around. Then spoke to us after the interval.
The show was very funny. But 4 hours in a wheelchair killed my body. I was in agony. I was sat in a burning hot bath at 1a.m! so those of you in the U.K look out for us on telly when the show is screened.

Saturday I managed to go out and about with Rachel to get her outfit for the barmitzvah. Finally we're sorted!! I'd cancelled my arrangements for the Wednesday and Thursday so my body could recover. Infact Wed was a bad day and I shloched around in my Jimmyjams all day.

This week now -last one in March- has been even better. last night we went out for a bite to eat. we ended up in TGI Fridays which is very expensive. but we enjoyed ourselves.

KNITTING-
On the knititng front I'm continuing the shrug I'm making for my friends sons barmitzvah. It's 3 weeks away so I hope it'll be ready. I'm such a slow knitter.

IV'E MANAGED TO DO SOME SPINNING!!!! Yeehaa! the first time in about 6 weeks and its not put me in bed!! I do so hope I'm on the up again.

thwarted dreams and ambitions

In january I was in a dyeing and pushing my business mood. The sales that month were good and I pushed myself to dye even more. What happened? Yup, I ended up in bed! yes this is going to be another fibro rant so switch off now!
I had my head full of great ideas. I would do craft fairs, I'd love a stall at Woolfest,I would love a stall at i-Knit etc. Someone contacted me regarding wholosale supplying. But after trying to increase my output and failing I've realised that I cant do any of that stuff because of the Fibro.

The exhaustion is unbeleivable at the mo. I was very down about it all a month ago, but I'm more comfortable with my limitations now. I know I'll never be more than a Little Etsy seller doing a hobby really. it still gets me when I read of fellow dyers opening shops, stalls etc. I still think I'd love to do that. I'd love to have more enregy to just do what I want with my life. I have to plan so much.
E.G this weekend...Yesterday I went hunting for a hat for Josh's Barmitzvah. I must have my head covered for the Synagogue. We went to a local village RAmsbottom to a hat hire shop, only said hat hire shop is no more..recession and all that!! so we came home and looked on-line and found another hat hire place at a farm near Blackburn. Mr Cinders didnt mind driving, so we went back up the motorway the way we had just come and found this hat hire shop. beautiful hats but not the right one for my outfit. There was one to buy. a 'snip' at £159 !!!! yeah, I'll have one in every colour! Needless to say the said hat is still in the hat shop.
we got home and I fell into bed at 5pm. I slept till 7.30pm then had some supper and went straight back to bed. I was supposed to be taking M-I-L to manchester today to help her choose her barmitzvah outfit. I had a terrible night and really felt to ill to go but didnt want to dissapoint her. In the end we didnt have time to get there on a Sunday before the shops shut which I'm glad of, but tommorrow I usually go swimming, but tommorrow night we're going to see a comedy thing for the BBC with Michael macyntire.
so I have a dilema, do I risk going swimming? I might not be well enough to go out tommorrow night. If I had have gone shopping today I'd have been in bed all of tommorrow and not made it out tommorrw night.
I'm so sick of having to alot activites and spread them out and postpone one in favour of the other just because of this Fibro.
Just typing this has worn me out so I'll have to go and rest on the bed and not promote ny business on Ravelry which is what I wanted to do. I have tones of dyeing to do.... aaaaaarghhh!!! My f'ing body drives me bonkers!!!
I could've taken the dyeing so much further but...... All my dreams and ambitions have been thwarted

I'm in U2 heaven!!

Its been a great few days for U2 fans. Their new album No Line on The Horizon was released yesterday so for weeks theres been this build up. But it all took off this week in England. Its about time U2 came to England. I feelt hat considering they cut their teeth here they deserted us for America years ago and everything they do seems geared towards America. Anyway Firday I was in Heaven!! at lunch time U2 did a live concert in the radio1 live lounge which you could watch on line. then later on they were on Chris Evans.(I hate that man so it must be special for me to listen to his show!!) on radio2 being interviewd and later on still they did a live gig from the rooftop of the radio2 building which was televised. At 10.30pm they were on Jonathon Woss and The Culture show showed an extended interview with them. Sigh!! All that Adam oggling. Hubby wasnt impressed!
The BBC is showing all the events all day long on BBCi so I can watch repeats of it all the time! Then on MTV2 they showed an interview with Zane Lowe and lots of hits and old U2 videos. My CD arrived yesterday, though I'd already heard it on the U2 fan site. I'm enjoying it more with each play. Theres some beatle-esq moments and You can hear Brian Eno's influence over it, but I'm enjoying it particularly 'Magnificent' which seems to have caught alot of fans attention. Could this be the new 'One'?
next week Tour dates are being announced on the fansite so i'm all excited. I WILL be at the next U2 concert if I have to be wheeled their on my bed!!!

We've bought tickets later in the year to see Michael Macintyre. I think he's very funny. And Hats off to The Lowry- we're also going to see Bill Bailey in June. At the Lowry they let your carer in free if you're in a wheelchair which has enabled us to take Rachel as were getting 3 tickets for the price of 2. so much as I hate my wheelchair it is useful sometimes.

KNITTING
Here a the piccies I hadnt taken last time.
THe ruined hat;





The lovely French Girls Knit book and the Mohair shug I'm knitting from it. This is the first book ever that I've knitted from where I've wanted to knit every sinlge, bar one, item from it. Usually theres one or two that you like. If you havnt got this book yet I'd strongly recommend it.



THE FIBRO FRONT
just the same I'm afraid. I do a little bit, then spend a day in bed. But I have been a bit better some of the time. This week I didnt go out of the house at all from Monday to saturday. Oh ,tell a lie, I got my dad to drive me around on some errands on Tuesday. but yeasterday, Saturday, we went to Manchester city centre shopping. I found the Jacket to go with my dress fro the Barmitzvah. its turquiose and looks great. I was very pleased. so now I'm mostly fixed up. I'll go for my hat next week. because I need wide fitting shoes as my feet are a bit wider and also paniful, I order my shoes online from Viva La Diva.

6 weeks until the Barmitzvah and counting down. I'm so excited. The invites will be posted tommorow and its all go!!!

I did manage some dyeing this week which I'm pleased about . they are now dry and need re-skeining before I can put them up in the shop.

DAFT THINGS I'VE DONE THIS WEEK
1, someone contacted me quierying the yardage of my sock yarns. I assure them the yardage was correct as I'd used an online converter to convert the metres to yards. When I looked again silly old me had actually been putting the measurments in the wrong boxes!!! SEe I cant even use an online calculator!!! Doh!

2, I put some Germolene on a part of my body. I decided to look at the expiry date as the tube looked a bit old. I began reading the bumf on the back which read 'for rectal use only'!!! I'd picked up a tube of Germaloids (pile cream!!!) so my body wont have piles now!!!

3, today I went to phone Mr Cinders on his mobile and wondered why the number wasnt being recognised until I realised that I'd punched in my debit card number instead of the mobile phone number!!!

oh boy, just call the white van with square wheels!!!!! ;_)

Pre-Teen for sale!!!

Its been a tough few days with a certain nearly 13 year old. lots of rows, shouting and such like. At one point he was so cheeky I ran after him (didnt know I possessed so much energy!) Forced my way into his bedroom and forced the x-box control off him . I gave it to Mr Cinders to take to work so he couldnt have it that day. On Saturday Josh was so badly behaved that he was banned from going to his friends, the pictures and a sleep over that day. Mr Cinders and I are determined we're going to knock this bad behaviour and disrespect out of Josh. We MEAN Business!! We've rowed all week about him helping at home so by Teusday I told him that if he didnt make his own breakfast and lunch and empty the dishwasher everyday during the hols I would refuse to cook him any meals and I wouldnt do his washing so he's have no clean clothes. I think, after he saw how ill he made me Tuesday after all the rowing, that the message is finally sinking in. Its taken until today, the last day, for him to get some food and empty the dishwasher on first asking only!!! he is such a lazy boy that he'd rather starve, eat crisps than make a butty or open some spahetti hoops.

The worst is that I've knitted my first ever charity hat in my own ,hand dyed yarn, for the Mirasol project. I'd left the hat in the lounge and found it cut on Tuesday. apparently josh had done it in a fit of temper when he was grounded on Saturday!! needless to say I'm fuming. I'm going to see if I can oversew it somehow.

anyway, back to school on Monday. Hurray!! if he's like this now, heaven knows what his teenage years are going to be like. But he now knows whos boss!!!

The FM SAGA
Well last week was a disaster! I was in bed monday , Tuesday and Wednesday exhausted and in pain. I didnt go to sleep until 6am Wed morning and I was in aboiling hot bath at 3am not knowing where to put my body. This despite morphine and tramadol!! i didnt sleep too well Wed night either and was to be found in the bath again at 3am Thursday Morning. Then I had a bright idea!! I was taking Amytriptilene for the sleeplessness until The early days of last year. I stopped it as I felt as though I was sleeping o.k and it makes you put on weight so it stopped it. So Thursday morning I rang my GP and asked if I could try it again to tide me over this flare. I slept like a log Thursday night!! and so did Mr Cinders!! It made me realise just how badly I have been sleeping these last 9-10 months or so, so I'm going to stay on it until after the Barmitzvah which is 9 weeks away! EEEKKK!!
I felt really good at the weekend and on Saturday night we had a lovely Valentines meal at a local Bistro Pub- very yummy indeed.

Then Tuesday I went to Manchester and spent 2 hours on Kendals (House of Frazer) trying on posh outfits. I look an absolute bugger in most if it!!! I did see one thing but wasnt sure so I'll keep looking. Most outfits are made for tall willowy girls not small dumpy weeble looking people like myself!
Now ofcourse I feel desperately exhausted again. Still I'm hoping to go to The Trafford Centre tommorrow and investigate some designer shops and see what Debenhams have got.

Sunday we're off to Leeds to see SAm. He has actually requested our presence!! So for all his bluster and bravado about loving being away from home, he still misses us!

Nice bits
The highlight of the week was watching U2 play at the opening of the Brits. on TV ofcourse! that cheered me up, though of course wouldnt you just know my parents rang just as it was about to start so they got a very breif conversation!!! Sods law isnt it when theres something you've been looking forward to!
othe than my meal out and a shop the rest has been poo!!!

Knitting

There was the Mirasol hat, and Mr Cinders sock still in progress and I cast on a gorgoeus floaty shrug from the French Girls Knits Book. I must take photos. Its in Gold KId Silk Night.

I tried spinning yesterday and it killed my legs and my energy went so no spinning for me for a feww eeks now.

Thank you for your support

Just a quicky to say thankyou to all of you who left messages for me on Tuesday. I was very touched and it really helped to know that people are reading my blog and care.
I'm sorry I havnt replied to all your messages on your blogs individually as I'm really not well with the blasted fibro at the mo.

BUT I'm please to say I am feeling better mentally. On Wednesday I went for relaxation, meditation and a massage which really helped.

Other than that I've been in bed alot this week exhausted and in pain and am back on the tramdol on top of the Morphine!! So I wont be barmitzvah clothes shopping today, I'm staying in my PJ's and resting. No Dyeing either, though I do have some skeins to re-skein and put on Etsy, but I think they will have to wait.
My arms and hands are hurting and feel weak like my legs so I'm finding it difficult to knit, boohoo!! But I'm soldering on

Thanks once again . you are true online cyber friends xxxxxx

Boy am I Pissed off!!!

I try not to use my blog to rant about the fibro. but its my blog and no-one seems to be reading it anyway so what the hell!!

I'm just so fed up at the mo. I'm exhausted and cant stay up past 5pm most days. its getting me really down. I'm living a half life in this twighlight zone!!

I must admit I dont realyl rest when I'm up. but I dont do a huge amount. On saturday we went to our local town Bury and I tried on 2 outfits for the Barmitzvah. One was nice, but not wow and when she told me it was £350 I kindly declined to buy it!!! But when we got back I went to bed. Sunday I dyed 4 skeins of yarn. I was exhausted afterwards, but forced myself to stay up so that I didnt fall asleep at 6pm and then not sleep at night. I slept dreadfully that night.

hear is an odd thing/. when the pain is manageable and the exhaustion isnt too bad I can sleep for Britain. When I'm totally exhausted and in pain. i.e having a flare I cant sleep!!! Bonkers isnt it?

Yesterday I was on my knees all day. If it wasnt for the fact that Josh had an appt at 3.30pm I would've spent the day in bed. The night had been one of those where I doze for 20 mins. wake up doze for 20 mins etc all night. By the time we got home last night I felt so ill it was jarmies on and into bed again!!! Now today I slept till 10pm. had a very long soak, came on here, dyed 2 skeins only and did a bit of spinning for 5 mins, Oh and I re-skeined 2 yarns and photgraphed them ready to go on my site. I'm totally wacked again and am going for a rest.

I think I'm down too. Its feb and the lack of light starts affecting me around this time. I think my day light reserves have run out! Not that they were particularly topped up last summer!

ah well.
I shall try and count my blessings rather than getting frustrated. But like this weekend I've asked my pals round Saturday night. It'll be a takeway as I cant cope with cooking. Then I'll have to stay in and do nothing all day Saturday if I want to be up sat night. the same goes for next week, valnetines day. If we want to go out Sat night I'll have to stay in bed most of saturday. I think some one has nicked my 'spoons' and I only have 3-4 at the mo!!!

Where did January go?

I cant beleive how fast this month has flown and I havnt managed to blog.
My dyeing and advertising on the internet are taking up all my time. Its surprising just how much extra there is now Ravelry is there other than dyeing and putting it on my Etsy sittte. I advertise on ravelry but also I'm allowed to put new stock posts on various other froums on Rav. to do this I have to upload my piccies to Flickr then resize ,cut and paste the links to each Rab forum I want to update on. Well my concentration isnt brill at the best of times so you can imagine after clicking and pasting 10 yarns or rovings once or twice my eyes are whizzing around in my head!!!!

Below is a piccie from December of our Chanukah candles looking lovely.


Happy New Year everyone. I know its a bit late but I havnt managed to blog.

KNITTING
On the knitting front I've finished all of the knitting for the Ivy Jacket and have blocked it. I need to sew the shoulders together so I can finish the cable collar then sew it all up.I started a sock or even a pair of socks for Mr Cinders using my own Alpaca Merino. Not the most sturdy of yarns for a mans sock I know but it was a mis-dye. Now knitting up with it I'm wondering why I put it in the mis-dye pile as it looks fine to me!!! Ah well, I've finished one sock and have started the other. I've also signed up on Rav to knitting ahat for a peruvian chilkd for the Alpaca, Mirasol campaign. I've felt so ill I've not managed to do it yet so I'd better get my finger out.

I took part in my first ever Secret Santa on RAvellry UK Sock Knitters Forum. I sent my recipient my own yarn and roving and thankfully she loved it. I received a wonderful basket of goodies myself from knittynutter. Here is a piccie, there was yarn from Yarn Pirate, needle protectors, sewing up neeles, a Lantern Moon Bee tape measure, Lush soap and tons of other bits and bobs . It was a fab haul and I shall def be taking part in other swaps.


I bought myself nancy Bush's Knitted Lace of Estonia and also a brillinat American Book with Pictues called Teach yourself Visually sock knitting. its a series like the 'Dummies' series. The pictures are clear and the instructions concise so it'll be toe up socks for me next.


SQUIFFY MARK 2!!!
Here is a picture of the 'squiffy' otherwise known as a skein winder to you and me, as built by Mr Cinders. its called squiffy as when I was describing to Mr Cinders what I wanted him to make I talked about swifts and skein winders . Mr Cinders, not being of the knitterly persuasion got all mixed up when he excitedly announced that he had an idea of how to make 'That squiffy thing you asked for'!!! so the name has stuck. This is the improved model with longer pegs so my skeins dont drop off and tangle and a larger handle to wind the yarn with.
Note Cinders herself, the feline version, had to get in on the act and pose for the shot!!!


FM

Oh Boy!!! Where do I start. suffice it to say that the exhaustion has been worse than the pain recently and I HAte that. sounds silly but I'd rather the pain was dominant as I can at least physically do a bit more.
The last month I've been in bed by 5pm many nights and not stirred until the next morning. Last Friday I litterally was on my knees and couldnt get up the stairs so Mr Cinders had to push my legs up whilst shoving my bum at the same time!!! I spent all of Saturday in bed and it really frustrated me as it a lost day.
Then I'm feeling angry and frustrated over not being able to od what I want Josh's Barmitzvah 12 weeks away. I ranted about this on the Stitchlinks forum so I dont feel like repeating myself. Suffice it to say that I thought I was coping with my fucked up life. But then something comes along and knocks me for six again and I'm mourning for the old me that didnt need nursemaiding and could drive, walk and do stuff. ah well.

My business is going well this month thankfully so I hope I can maintain the momentum. I'd love to be able to dye enough stock to hold a stall at a craft fair or attend a knitting event. But its beyond me. I'm off to catch up on all the blogs I've neglected now

Seasons Greetings

Wishing all my readers a Happy Christmas/Chanucah and a healthy and Happy New year.
Hope you all get lots of lovely pressies.

not much news here I'm afraid. The Cinders family have all had the flu.and I mean Flu! People day they've had flu when all they've had is a nasty cold but this was awful. I will spare you the deatails. Mr Cinders was like a bear with a sore head! he hates being ill and stuck in bed and we all knew about it!! funnily enough Sam had exactly the same in Leeds at the same time. so hows that for family closeness!!

I didnt even pick up a knitting needle for 5 days!!!! Sacre Bleu!! heavens above. Now you know how ill I felt!!!

Thats all folks.- I have a lovely new printer/scanner which was my Chanucah pressie so I'm off to play. See you all in the new year.