Fibreholics yarns

I've been very busy sorting out yarns for the Fibreholics box.These samples are merino/tencel in Candle and BFL DK in Michelle.

FM
I'm having a really tough time at the mo with pain and exhaustion. Its all in my neck and upper back,radiating to my jaw and face. its a bleeping nuisance.Infact I've lost another day in bed yesterday which I hate and I can feel a sleep coming on again today. Grrrr!!

Books
I'm reading Mrs Dalloway at the mo.Its O.K but I preferred Stella Gibbons Cold Comfort Farm.Its very funny. 2 very different books.One about depression and suicide and one about living life to the fullest.

sadly neglected blog

Its ages since I blogged but life has been a tad rough of late.
Firstly my lovley Mum passed away on 26th June. we all miss her very much indeed.

At the end of August Sam was 21. we had a lovely weekend celebrating but of course it was bitter sweet as it was the first family celebration without Mum.

Then its been jewish holidays which have been hard for us too without her.

knitting
I'm knitting plain socks for Mr Cinders ,finally in one of my yarns, Its merino/nylon sock yarn-colourway-TabbyCat. its coming along slowly but surely.
I gave up on that doll I was knitting, one day I'll finish it,but toy knitting isnt my fortay. I hate sewing up so little piddly bits that need to be sewn together frequently just aint my thing! give me a large, all in one cardi-no sewing at all.
Actually |I've been a ridiculously slow knitter this year.I think I've finished one item!! I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things and as per usual I have a very long list of things to knit and lots of yarn to do it with! I have a mounting pile of 'seconds',yarns I wont sell after dyeing which I will one day get round to using.



On the Fibro front

Well summer is well and truly over. The joys of my body in the boiling heat of our holiday in Turkey are long forgotten and surprise,I'm in pain again! its gone into my neck and shoulders. Very annoying. I have had a permanent headache for weeks from my neck now and this week I lost 3 days to pain, migraine and exhaustion. very annoying. It just frustrates me. i've altered my messages settings so hopefully I wont get those irritating spam posts about chronic pain. One was in greek!!!

Shop
I'm busy dyeing ltos of yarns and have lots of lovely updates so keep a look out. I'm also going to get a BCF fan group going on rav when I figure out how so if you want to be in it let me know.
I'm also partaking in the Fibreholics box on Ravelry too so watch out for my yummy little samples.

Books

I have read a few excellent books since last blogging- amongst them
The Lacuna-by Barbara Kingsolver and Stephen fry's first Biography-Moab is my washpot. I've requested his new one for my b/day

Joys and Sorrows

Firstly the sorrow. Mum has been fighting cancer for 6 years now. We've known from the start that it wasnt curable, but now its spread to her liver and the hospital have withdrawn all treatment. so thats it. even though we've known this day would come I'm uterly heart broken and keep crying. we dont know how long Mum has so we're just making the most of the time.

Now onto the joyful stuff! rachel was 18 on Friday so we've been busy celebrating over the Bank Holiday weekend. 2 weeks ago she had her hair dyed and re-styled. then last Tuesday I took her into Manchester and we bought alot of 'grown up' make up. She got a Clinique foundation and cleansing system plus lots of different makes of blusher,eye shadows,lipsticks etc. We spent 3 hours in Boots and they got alot of business from us that day!!! Then on Friday we had a spa treat. We went to a salon in Manchester city centre Rachel had a package that included a facial, spray tan and hands and nails. I had the most wonderful hour and half, A hot stone massage!!! OOOH bliss! I've always wanted one. They're not cheap but I decided I needed a treat!!
i was worried it might aggravate the Fibro and I'm not sure whether it has or not coz I started a flare at the same time!!!
Friday night we had a family dinner with Mum and Dad. Saturday rachel was supposed to have a picnic in the park,but it threw it down so all her mates decended on our house. We only have 1 through room downstairs so I sat on my bed all afternoon whilst the house and my head shook with music and lots of 18 year olds yelling!!
Norman and I went out for an revolting meal that night.it was a big dissapointment. we went to an italian in Bury called Verona-yuk!! we were only out 1 hour and were back in time to watch Wallander!!
Sunday we visited both sets of Grandparents then all 5 of us went out to Croma for pizza. I cant remeber the last time all 5 of us were together en famille. it was lovely.
monday- Bank Holiday, Sam went back to Leeds and the 4 of us went to Manchester museum of science and industry to see the Leonardo da Vinci exhibition. This wasnt about his art, it was about his scientific inventions.. They-whoever 'they' are have looked through all Da Vinci's notes and built some of his machines including his flying machines and agricultural machines. he was an absolute genius. The exhibition was very interesting and even Josh enjoyed it although he pretended not too in true teenage fashion!! everything was 'boring'.

FIBRO FRONT
well I've well and truly over done it the last few weeks and am now having a wopping flare.I'm really in pain esp my legs which feel like they've been smashed with a hammer! My back is burning and I've hardly slept. oh the joys!!

Doesnt time fly?

Gosh, cant beleive its so long since I blogged. Life has been hectic to say the least!
so heres a brief summary.
Week before Easter; sis, B-I-L and neice and nephew cam eover form canada. was lovely to see them. they came to see Mum. We ate out nearly every night and though it sounds great I felt ill and gotn really fed up of it and was looking forward to a salad or eggs on toast!!

Then it was Passover. Even though every year I think I'm organised I still run around like a headless chicken. Luckily for me Sam and his girlfirend came home and Sarah was wonderful, she worked really hard doing the Passover baking and helping me get ready. needless to say I over did it and caused a flare up and spent alot of time in bed over Passover,eshausted. Each year I say I wont do it again next year and next year comes round and I do it again!! I only did as much as I did because Sam was home and he's still religious otherwise I wouldnt have bothered so much.

We didnt do anything over Easter as I was too exhausted. Its taken me a good few weeks to come out of the flare.

Whilst I was in the Flare I was asked by betsan of Stitchlinks to go to a pain conference at the G-mes in Manchester. She had a stall there and wanted me to come down and talk to proffesionals about the benefits of knitting with chronic pain. It was voluntary of course, but I chose to go. So sore and exhausted off I tootled on my scooter (though for any of you who watch 'Life On Mars' its now called the Quatro!!). I had a good day out.it wasa nice to meet up with betsan again and I chatted to a few nurses, docs etc from pain clinics about how knitting sooths and helps.

the trip worsenend my flare and I was in alot of pain and very exhausted for a week.But at the end of the day I CHOSE to go knowing the concequences and you have to do this in life sometimes otherwise I'd be bored,housebound and depressed. as long as you dont do the 'boom and bust 'thing too often.

Since then we've been busy. Bank Holiday weekend turned into a disaster as Mr Cinders had an attack of Renal colic(Kidney stones) and was in agony and spaced out on tramadol!! He cant beleive I cant take them and remain standing!!

Now we're having a new kitchen fitted which is very exciting but my lounge and dinning room are filled with pots ,pans and dust!!! I'll be glad when its finnished. Some of the cupboards are finnished so we've washed them out and put some stuff back. I will photograph it when its finnished.


Knitting

I'm still knitting the Topsy Turvey Doll by Jean Greenhowe. I told you I was a slow knitter!! Its very fiddly and theres alot of sewing to do. I prefer large projects.

I might actually get round to doing some photographs and posting them.

Poleaxed!

Gosh didnt realise its been a month since my last post. Deosnt time fly when you're charging around hospitals and being exhausted! I finished being cooked 3 weeks ago and suffered a very swollen,sore boob.I looked like half a Jordan!! Ones nipple was excrutiatingly sensitive and sore. I was in the bath one daya when DD came in. She took one look at it all and said 'good god! Thats not normal!!' quite! then I got the sore chapped itchy skin as you get a kind of sunburn. I'm mostly recovered now apart from the 'itchytittyitis'!! as its known. But I'm now suffering from the fatigue which I was warned that I would get. As I didnt exactly start with a full battery I'm totally floored. I've been in bed alot and am really frustrated. Its made worse because my Mum is having chemo again and is ill.I really need to be able to look after her as my dad,bless him, is useless. he has Altzheimers and needs more and more care. he's not ga,ga, but he needs prompting as to has he taken his meds, geting a shower and he needs feeding.
actually its surprising that I can still laugh and smile with all the stress around me.
Luckily for me at least they cancelled Mums chemo this week as she's too ill to have it.This means I can go with the flow of the wipe out exhaustion and not worry too much. gawd I wish my sister lived here instead of Canada then she'd be able to help.

Knitting
yes its coming along slowly. I have actually finnished something !! ta,da!!! I've finished my february ladies sweater. I will photograph it at some point. I'm working slowly on some Peppermint Twist socks. I get very bored with them very easily. Dunno why.I think its the exhaustion Tbh. My brain isnt working properly its too fugged.

anyway nuff moaning

On Books and Radiotherapy

But not both together! I read about 50 books last year which is much higher than the year before. I didnt keep a record towards the end. Cant think what was distracting me!
My favourite books were definitely Henning Mankells Wallander series. They were dark aswell as telling a good detective story. I got into wallander by watching the Swedish series on BBC 4 I loved following the subtitiles whilst listening to the Swedish language as you can pick up English sounding words and find the root to alot of our own language in there. of course scandanavian/norse language came over with the Vikings so it makes sense. Then I started reading the books and got wholey hooked on them. The character of Wallander is depresive and an ordinary bloke/anti-hero really. I then watched the Kenneth Brannagh version. They're more brooding than the Swedish version and what annoys me is that the English version has tried to get the Swedish pronunciations correct for names of places and people yet they continue to mis pronounce Wallander which is actually pronounced Vallander. Just a small mater but it irks me!

Anyway back to books. I also love medieval history and was thoroughly engrosed in Sussanah gregory's mathew bartholomew tales of murder in medieval Cambridge. A month ago I discovered Bernard Knights Crowner John series about the life of one of the first coroners appointed by Richard the Lionheart in 1393. The character is fictional but his peirs and surroundings are real.

And now onto Radiotherapy. The therapy itself is fine. its litterally 2 blasts of about 20seconds from the machine. But as I go by ambulance to Christies I have to be ready 2 hours before hand and can wait up to 2 hours to be brought home. The waiting around is long and very tiring. its also awkward as I go in my wheelchair. Well sometimes I have the energy to push myslef to the loo or coffee bar,other times I cant. Mr Cinders is working and cant accompany me and I hate having to ask to be wheeled to the loo at my age. Still I'm very grateful to the ambulance service therwise it'd be a £60 round journey in a taxi every day!
£ sessions down-12 to go. This week is going to be hard as its 5 consecutive days. I tired after 3 days now so heaven help me!!
I'm also very grateful to have a wonderful cancer centre like Chrisites on my doorstep. its so busy there. You see some heartbreaking sites Like I saw a young woman wearing a wig, with her chemo drips attatched saying goodbye to 3 small boys and a husband one day. I also saw a teenager in a wheelchair. I just think thank God mine was caught so early and the radiothrapy is really just an extra insurance policy so the cancer has less chance of returning.

KNITTING
Yes I'm still doing it slowly. I've finished Knitting the February Ladies jacket . it needs the hems sewing over and buttons going on it. I'm trying to finish a V nck I started 2 years ago now and I have a peppermint lozenge sock on the go for my hospital visits. I should photograph them really but ...

Business is O.K I am not re-stocking the shop as I havnt the energy to dye any more yarn at the mo but I'm taking orders from existing stock and I've had a few orders on which is nice.

CARPE DEUM

Crickey I havnt blogged for ages. Mind you I think September/Oct and November were kind of taken up a bit. I think possibly learning that I had breast cancer then having the op and recuperating might have sidetracked me from the blogosphere for a few months!!!

So lets take a look back at 2009.
The Positives-
1-Josh's Barmitzvah-a fab time was had by all.
2-A short holiday in Norfolk. A place I've always wanted to visit. beautiful but a little too flat!! I like my hills.
3- a couple of days away whils rachel had her intevieew at Cambridge Uni. A great break for Mr Cinders and myself. a beautiful town. I'd like to see more. lets hope Rach is offered a place.
4- The wonderful, continuing love and support I get from Mr Cinders.

5-Of course my kids have mostly been positive!!!

6 My Yarn business has been small but steady

The negatives
1-the continuing struggle wih fibromyalgia, pain, exhaution and disability. Even now 6 years later its often very hard to swallow.
2- Being diagnosed with Breast cancer 2 days before my birthday!! Thankfully it was caught very early and has been totally removed.
3- My Mums continuing battle with cancer and her getting more weak and frail.

actually there are less negatives than I thought!!!

And so onto 2010. My new motto after having had a brush with cancer and having had an operation and awaiting radiotherapy which starts tommorrow,5th Janis seize the day!, It gave me a jolt. I realised that I was stuck a bit in the mire of Fibro and disability. I've decided that I'm going to make the most of every day. Although today my body demands a rest before the onslaught of the next 3 weeks.