As Per Usual, I've cocked it up!

Knitting
referring to the Stepping Stones jacket of course! I had it all sewed up, washed and drying with just the ends to weave in and then it needed pressing. But I had trouble getting the sleeves sewn in. The armholes seemed much bigger thatn the sleeve circumference and the edging was pulling all around the jacket. so I decided , why spoil the ship for a ha'poth of tar. I undid the sleeves and re-measured. For some reason one sleeve was 3 inches too shprt! Then I read the instructions(This always helps!) I should've not sewn up the last 2 1/2 " so that they couild go round the armhole shaping. Doh!!! So I've knitted my 3 extra inches of sleeve, re-done the picot edging, re-sewed it up leaving the gap and ran out of embroidery yarn. tried to sew up in the chenille which is imposible so I've abandoned ot for a few days!!
I always seem to mess up my knitting and I dont seem to like it once its done. I went shopping yeaterday and bought the sewing up thread so I'll pick it up tommorrow and carry on. But then I have to undoe the whole edging which is curling and re-sew it at the right tension! Grrr its so frustrating.
I've been doing some perfectly plain ,mindless knitting, my V-neck tank top. This time in Rowan 4-ply whci is knitting as DK tension for some reason. Must be my knitting. No photos. My batteries have gone.

FM
Gawd I feel so USELESS! I just think I've adjusted to this level of exhaustion and inactivity and whamo! Something happens and I hate it and my situation all over again. So whats irritated me this time? Nothing earthshatering, We've been trying to decorate our lounge and dinning room for about 3 years. cant imagine why its not happened yet! something to do with me being ill, hubby being cheif cook and bottle washer plus only childs taxi driver. he never has time. He fitted a new fire last May and the chimney breast has been half bare ever since! This weekend, as we dont obviuosly celebrate Easter, has been designated 'Decorate the chimney breast and carry on with as much of the room as possible' weekend! So Friday we started stripping the wallpaper. I helped. HA, HA! 'helped'. ten whole minutes of pulling off wallpaper and then my body went. legs, energy , the lot!!! I was so pissed off with it all. Hubby wanted to go to B&Q and buy some stuff. Now if I drove and had energy I could've done it. It just gets me so frustrated as he's a one-man band. We cant afford a decorator so its going to take months of him decorating inbetween ferrying Josh to football, Rach to band practise etc. Sams home and we did request him to help, he managed a bit longer than me, but it was like an 8 years old'Aw do I have too?'
Yesterday I did go shopping into Bury with Rachel on the hunt for bras. We didnt really have too much success but I managed to buy a top and cardi in New Look and Rachel managed to do me out of alot of money on an outfit and makeup!!! My legs were so bad, weak and painful. Obvioulsy I went shopping on my trusty scooter. We went to our fave coffee shop and had cinamon toast and coffee. naughty me! I saw my Mum and Dad in the distance so RAchel ran after them and brought them back to the coffee shop which was nice. Even better, when we got up to go Dad offered to pay for our afternoon tea.
The fibrofog has been really troublesome lately. Last week I couldnt even remember the name of the microwave and was pointing to 'that thing that heats food up'! Also, incase you hadnt noticed spelling seems to be eluding me lately. I just look blankly at words. Something else I've noticed is that I ofetn cant make sense of accents like I used to esp when watching telly. I was watching this new American series..'Dirty, sexy Money and they spoke so fast I couldnt catch it. it just made me exhausted so I gave up.
We have a wedding to go to tonight and I'll have to steel myself for not being annoyed when I cant join in and dance. My legs are so bad today,plus my hips have been locking. When I got out of bed this morning my right knee gave way and a pain shot up my left heel so I was trying to hop about like a Thunderbird puppet singing the Thunderbirds theme. Good job I've a sense of humour!!!

Diet
I did 3 weeks of Slimfast and guess what? I lost exactely....Zilch!!!! I put 1lb on!!! of course this is the much lamented medication balssing thing up. I feel very frustrated by it all. I was only musing about it all on the GL forum I go on. The inital weight gain was obviousely my fault as I comfort ate whilst seriously depressed. BUT my lack of loosing weight now is because of my meds and inability to be very active. I feel as though people are looking at me thinking 'yuk. what a blob'. I feel like wearing a t-shirt with 'I'm only this size because of my meds' printed on it!!! its really disheartening. I've decided to stick to GL as a damage limitaition exercise so that I dont gain any weight. I only have to deviate slightly to gain an lb and then it wont shift. I'll just have to be a wobbly blob for Josh's barmitzvah.

HOmelife
On the home front. Sam is back for a couple of weeks. its lovely having him here but it makes me realise just how independent he is now and is his own man. We cant boss him about the same. having said that I did think he might want to help his Dad decorate, but then he's always been a bit lazy!!
Josh has yet another temp and bug. Poor lad. he was supposed to be going to the pictures with his girlfriend yesterday!! We find this hilarious that our self proclaimed 'babe magnet' has a girlfriend at the age of nearly 12! he was most put out yesterday that he had to cancel and was worried incase she finished with him! ah! Apparently at school, rachel says, he follows his young lady around like a lost sheep!! There has been much use of hair gel , Lynx and aftershave lately!!!

Finally.. an F.O!!!

KNITTING

YAY! Finally! its only taken me till MArch and I've finally finished something! My Panda socks

The yarn is Panda Cotton. I loved the 70's style colourway. The yarn is lovely and soft and stretchy BUT My negatives are; It splits as I've found most cottons do and there was barely enough on each ball of yarn for 1 size 5 (English) sock. I had to sew up in black yarn and I really could've done with an extra 1/2 inch in the foot. Still they're lovely and cozy.

Stepping stones is washed and drying ready for pressing. BUT I've noticed ,1, I've sewn 1 sleeve on inside out!!!and the edging band is frilling so I think I' m going to have to undoe the edging and re sew it ! How irritating. The patern did say slightly stretch the band as you sew it on. I've done it the other way round and stretched the jacket!!! I set out with good ideas and always seem to mess them up somehow.

One of my future projects is 2 at a time socks so I bought a couple of books to learn from.

and here is the Kureyon sock yarn I bought a few weeks ago.

I love these colours.

I've cast on a lace scarf- Cats PAws and am doing my vest top for mindless knitting. Hope fully, as this one is in pure wool it wont expand at the alarming rate the Sirdar one did!!!

FM

The exhaustion has been bothering me the last few weeks which means I've not been able to do much. The exhaustion was emotionally linked as we had 3 rough weeks . No prizes for guessing which small nearly 12 year old was responsible for most of it.!

I went to the pain clinic last week and was surprised that he wants to see me again in 3 months. I thought I'd be discharged this time as the patches are working so thats good.

Theres nothing worse that feeling like a boiled dishcloth and just lying there all feeble and 'Victorian 'like! Think I was having the 'vapours'!! I kept chastising myself and saying pull yourself togehter. Most people handle huge emotional strains and dont run out of physical energy. What I have discovered is that since the severe depression I have a coping mechanism now for emotional stress. I seem to switch off. I remain calm becuase I'm totally detached and not taking it all in. But then after a while my brain litterally switches off. Like if your computer freezes and then shuts down. I have to lie in a dark, quiet room and sleep.

I was reading The Rose Of Sebastopol about a Victorian woman and how they didnt cope with any stress and it reminded me of me. Must remember to loosen my stays!!!

The cleaner was ill on Thursday and didnt show. I cleaned 1/2 the kitchen and spent the rest of the day in bed and then Friday I dusted the lounge and the same thing happened. really annoying. Mind you I think I also had a bug as I did feel poorly and my temp was up a bit. That always wiped me out. Saturday I stayed in my PJ's all day and lounged around. that is not like me. since the depression the one thing I always do , even if nothing ele, is get dressed as being in my PJ's all day reminds me of that time.

Oh boy the Fibrofog has def been taking hold this past few eeks. I keep forgetting the nsme of household objects . I couldnt remember the microwave a few days ago. I'm going ' Put your food on .... er.... Whats that thing called (Pointing to Microwave!). I've forgotten so much lately. it must all be tied into stress and the bug. or I'm going doolally!!!!

Home front

Well I'm not going to discuss the reasons for the emotional turmoil here other thatn to say 2 lots involved Josh and 1 lot Sam all following on from each other in 3 weeks.

Josh is hopefully being sorted out at school now. We met with his head of year and he's on a daily report for his behaviour but its focusing on positive things. His behaviour seems to be improving we hope!! I realised that the cause for this disruptive behaviour is the fact that he hasnt made the transiton to high school. Instead of being timid and quiet as I would be if overwhelmed, he's gone the other way and become wild and uncontrolable. His junior school is in the same campus as the high school and he still goes back to see his year 6 teacher at lunch time. She was lovely. very strict, but very motherly and he adored her. he hasnt cut the ties. He doesnt like the big impersonal nature of high school he wants the attention of the one to one at junior school and he's getting the attention negatively. Hopefully things will turn around now. he also still has 'issues' with me and my illness which he's going to gt councelling for.

Rachel got 2 awards at the Prize giving at school . One was for whats known in hebrew as Midot. This translates as character traits. Midot can be positive or negative. Rachel got her award for basically being a lovely person. please God by Joshua!!! She also got one for C.D.T. But its the Midot one I'm most proud of.
At Home Rach is shedding her 'unusually perfect for a teenager ' guise and turning into a 16 year old!!! Mind you she's up to her eyes in G.C.S.E course work, especially art. her art exam is tommorrow and Thursday. The REAl one! eeek!!!! Her art teacher has finally praised her work. Rach was getting rather hacked off with the constant criticism. I think her art is fab, but then I'm totally unbiased!!! HA, hA!!

Last week Josh was quite poorly. he had a flu' type illness with a really hight temp of 40 (104). he kept going bakc to bed which isnt like him. I must have had it too only milder which is why I was so exhausted.

Back to normal this week. Both kids at school. Ours arent off these 2 weeks as Passover doesnt coincide with Easter this year due to a jewish leap year so my lot arnt off till end of April. Sam has finished Uni for 1 month but isnt coming home till this Friday. I think he likes his independence.