Childhood musings

I was posting on my GL forum,http://www.dietfreedom.co.uk/ about books I loved as a child. it brought back all sorts of memories.
I lived and breathed The Famous five and truly beleived I too could have an adventure like they did!!! I was very put out that nothing happened in middle class suburbia!!LOL.
I also loved E. Nesbits five children and it and tThe Psamead. I still like reading victorian and edwardian novels for some reason. of course I enjoyed The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe too. But couldnt get into the others. I was too old for Roald Dahl!!


In my teens I stopped reading until we did To Kill a Mockingbird for 'o'level. its still one of my favourites today.

FM front

I've not been to bad the last few days. perhaps its dying down again. I went to the GP's today and got some slow release Tramadol in the hope that they may even out my pain releif. its too choppy at the moment and I have too long periods with no pain releif available. I also asked about getting a wheel chair. its not pleasant , but it will hlep us to go on days out . At present as I cant walk to far even a walk in the park with the kids is out.

KNITTING

I havnt photographed anything today, but I've opted for some brain dead or 'mindless' knitting. A plain vest top that I'm making longer. Just Kand P , no complicated instructions.

My brain is suffering from the fibro fog and so i cant be bothered challenging a complicated pattern. I'll change my mind in a few days no doubt.I have spent far to long on the Angel Yarns website Forum today. its so adictive and then people put up their blog addresses and I divert from what I was doing, then go to another link, then another etc!!!! Such fun, but detracts from the actual knitting.

GLing

its going well, B- fruit and fibre cereal,
L- out was a turkey subway
D- mushroom and artichoke Barleyoto. This is like a rissotto but using using barley instead of rice.

The Black Dog

This picture is in the wrong place !!! I havnt a clue how to edit this blog!!! This is MY LACE STASH!! mostly undyed waiting for me to play!

This picture has come out in the wrong place! but at least I managed to get it uploaded!!! Its my SOCK STASH

The Black Dog;

yes like 'Winnie' i to have suffered from depression. at its worst its a place I never want to visit again. Even with the most understanding family and wonderful supportive husband its a horrid, dark, lonely place.

I liken it to being at the bottom of a dark, deep well where you cant see the light at the top. Yuo're totally isolated and people around you are reaching out to you , but hitting the brick wall of the well.

recovery is like someone dropping a bucket down the well and you sit in it. You're pulled up a fraction , you still cant see the top of the well and the light. You slip back down again, but not as far. This is the pattern for recovery, a few feet up the well in the bucket, a slip down, but noot back to where you were. Slowly you are heaved up the side of the well until one day you can see the light , a tiny speck to start with, but it gets lighter very slowly. One day you find yourself at the top of the well, out in the fresh air. well! its easy to slip back at times, but I never, ever want to be back in the dark at the bottom again.

FM

On the fibro front, i managed to get out yesterday which pleased me no end. We went to the Trafford centre shopping. I hired a scooter for the first time. it helped me enormously. otherwise I couldnt have walked. But you become invisible on a scooter. people barge into you and push past, and getting down isles is a squeeze. Still I changed my tops in Evans so I was happy.

I've been in terrible pain, although so far today its not as bad and my spirits are up a bit.

GL_

I think I have to accept that the weight isnt going to come off. In fact I have put 3 lb on in one week just by upping my Pre-gabilin. its damage limitation at the moment.

Diary today;

B- tofu/sunflower smoothie

L- 1/2 tub soup with melted cheese in it

D- dunno yet? tinned salmon and salad.

Knitting.

I've managed to upload some photos, but they're in the wrong place!!!.

I'm carrying on with my current project, I'll try and photograph it. The camisole from Beads , Buttons and Lace. I'm up to the 'boob' bit, a bra type top and as I am not little in that area this should be interesting!!!

Arnt kids funny?

Josh, our youngest , who's 11, did really well on his SATS and got 3 level5's which is abouve average and surprised us all. (teachers included I think!!). he wanted a present for doing so well and apart from a cheap computer game chose Aftershave!!!LOL at his age. Hubby had to take him to Superdrug where he tried every spray imaginable, much to the amusement of the shop assistant, and came home with some Calvin Klein something or other!!!! I found this hilarious. he's after attracting the girls at his age. it took us until Sam was 14/15 to persuade him to wear anti- perspirant, dirty bugger! We used to fight tooth and nail to get him in the shower everyday. its only in the last 12 months and since he discovered the opposite sex thats he's started showering daily. YUk!!!!

FM Front.

Things have been a bit rough the last few days. After doing the gardening for 10 whole minutes monday, I was set solid and in pain Tuesday and I had a mild headache at the front. yesterday I woke up with a migraine. it was quite a bad one and I spent the day in bed till 4pm. I was fuming coz the sun was out and I missed it. I managed, very drugged up, to pop my head out of doors for 2 mins last night. days like that infuriate me . its a lost day.
Today I wanted to go out. I've got cabin fever. but I'm not confident enough to go out on my own at the mo. I cant drive so it'd be a taxi, or was I able to walk to the bus, and what if my legs gave way?? all these questions. it got me down. I wanted to go to Evans to change some tops. but its too far to walk on my own. So I'll have to wait till the weekend then Hubby can drive me around.
its just so frustrating and its days like these when the FM gets me down.
its typical that I've been discharged from psychology and immediately hit a bad patch, but I have to learn to cope on my own and some days are going to be rough.
I started to go for a walk and noticed my nextdoor neighbours car door open with her bag on the floor, so I shouted over the back gate. She was in the garden with a friend and young toddlers. She invited me in. I was so grateful for a chat I didnt even mind the kids. mind you they were very good and not shreiking.
Theres another thing. mine have grown out of that phase and i should be more understanding. They made one hell of a noise themselves, But I'm sensitive to noise and in pain, it lowers your tollerance. I've been there and done that and dont particularly want it now!!! I'll make a great grandma!!!

GLing

i'm struugling. I think I've put weight on. this is because my Pre-gabilin for pain has been upped by 50mg at night!!! hardly anything. But it interferes so much with your metabolism that i only have to look at a biscuit and I put a 1lb on!!

Todays food diary;
B- bowl crunchy nut cornflakes at 4.30am for pain releif;
Tofu, sunflower smoothie at 10.30am to take other tabs.

L- 1/2 bowl tesco mediteranean soup with cheese on top.
apple

D- I'm not sure. I've taken some bolognese out that was in the freezer for the family, but I'm finding mince meat too hard to digest at night. I may have another tuna steak.

Knitting

I've frogged Kia-Kia-Boo, hoo!!!The boarder said to undo the knitted middle so it was lace looking. But I've gone wrong somewhere on the boarder and the whole boader undid!!!! So its frogged and put away for another day. i'll see if I can upload pictures


I cant figure out how to upload photos, but i will

http://www.berroco.com/exclusives/kia/kia.html

here is the Kia kia pattern. its lovely but very tedious to knit.

my backs hurting now so I'm off.

My first entry

Hi,
I'm Cinders, and I love to knit, Im a Yarnaholic. I also suffer from Fibromyalgia, a very painful, disabilitating illness which has altered my life drastically, and seeing as though I'm 3 stone over weight I'm trying, LOL, to loose it following the GL diet

see linkshttp://www.fibromyalgia-associationuk.org/

http://www.dietfreedom.co.uk/


I decided to create a blog to write down my daily thoughts and feelings., chart my progresss, or distinct lack of , in the weight loss department , and cheer myself up with all my knitting acheivements. I can be my very own Bridgit Jones, except I've already found my mr Darcy! 20 years ago to be precise!!

Fibro
Today I was supposed to go to art class. i over slept and missed it. but I'm in alot of pain today, my legs in particular are driving me mad. I'm creeking avout the house like a 90 year old!Mind you I did try and do 10 mins gardening yesterday!! well I'm sick of the garden. with the weather hubby hasnt beena ble to do it and the weeds are having a party!!! Soon we'll have to machete our way into the front door!!!


Pain levels 9 out 0f 10!
mobility 2 out 0f 10

Mood- average, mind you the weather doeant help!


GLing
Hmmm, I'm not doing too well here! I've struggled the last 2 days to say the least!

Today,
Breakfast- tofu sunflower smoothie, made with 1/4 pack tofu, 1 apple, handfull sunflower seeds, squirt of Agave syrup and soya milk, oh not forgetting, heaped t- spoon of Cocoa!!

Lunch- havnt decided yet, probably soup.

Dinner- sweet and sour chicken-homemade. I cant cook too well these days. I used to love cooking , but the depression and Fibromyalgia (FM) put paid to all that.
Hubby cooks and enjoys it although the S&S sour chicken is some breasts chopped up with a jar of Sharwoods sauce chucked over it! some pineapple added. still its tasty.

Kniting

The sock yarn I dyed on Sunday usinig my first ever go at acid dyes. is dry and ready to be wound into a ball.
My KiaKIa jacket from Berrocco is coming along slowly. its very tedious to knit, having knitted 800 rows of boarder and picked up 400 stitches I'm now doing an 18 row repeat lace pattern. i'm on row 7. my camisole and jacket from Beads Buttons and Lace is on hold . But I do , in times of brain foogyness, which happen often FM again!, Pick up the cami as its plain stocking st.
I've just won some lace weight yarn on E-bay, Pure wool, 1700yards for $5 thats £2.50. With P&P from the States its coming too £5.60!!! I cant buy undyed pure lace weight wool for much less than that here!!!! Batgain. mind you I'm going to have to hide it from Hubby. I'm not supposed to be buying any yarn!!!OOPS! must take some photos and upload them.